Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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