That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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