then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
