Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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