escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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