I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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