it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
