your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
