apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
