Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
