I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
