There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Mom said you looked used
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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