So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
