I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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