whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Hippo gnu deer
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
