Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
