Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i think i just lost a toe
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
