Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
