Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
