I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
