Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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