My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
