If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
