She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
