so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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