so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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