Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
