If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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