Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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