apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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