We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
