I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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