OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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