I just pynch a tree in the face
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I believe in your delicious
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize