he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
