She said her name was "party"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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