oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i think i just lost a toe
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
