He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
