How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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