Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
