Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
