i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
