Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
