this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
