Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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