did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
