We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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