she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
