dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
