i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
