hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
